Just incase

So today
when going though my files
to find
tax returns.
From the years:
1999 -2005
To prove, I didn't live where the accounts where opened

I found a bank statement, from Bank of New York,
which is now closed,

But while my ex husband got phone service, PSE&G (gas & power), a cell phone and some credit cards, exact number yet determined, and other things...

in September 2002
I had $33.42 in the bank.

He was a
Yeah, class act.

Don't worry
I am pissed.
and have filed a police report..
sent faxed
made copies
and called a lawyer..

Karma

It's a bitch..

Oh, and good thing I remember his SS#..

SO. Take it from me

Well
I will tell you, first hand
Identity theft
and
Ex-husbands

Suck

It sucks even more when it's is your ex-husband using your identity.
Sucks,
That he used it from 1999-2002.
Phone service, Public Service. Cell phones.
All at a time, like I have told you I was soo soo poor.
I never got child support
Never had any medical insurance from him for her
No eyeglasses or braces...
No help
just a world of hurt.

Now
Judgements.
Lots of them
And
Lawyers.
Expensive ones.
And
at a time, when
our kids need Christmas.

Well now...

I think I am red in a sea of blue.

I don't care about gay or strait.
Be happy really.

I believe women should have a choice.

I believe in education.

Hate me because I am a republican. Hate me because I think how I think. Hate me because I have a mixed daughter. Hate me because I have things, you don't..
Really, I don't care.

I don't live in California. I didn't vote for Prop8. Hate me.

Hate me, fine.
Don't come here with your message of hope and love, with rainbows and candy and talk about hate.
Yes I am married.
Yes, my first husband was black & I married him. Yes I know at one time that was illegal.
See, I get all that.
I know in time things change. And for today.
For right now, it is what it is.
You asked people to vote, they did.
They voted and you don't like it.
It was a vote. It what it is, and maybe it sucks.

But see, I don't care either way. I am sorry for that.
You have the right to be happy. Be happy.
Don't come here and shit on me, I live in NJ.

Random Thoughts here On the Sideline

Ok
Random Thought one:
Our President made a speech today.
He said he was absolutely confident in the future of this country.
Me?
Not so much.
Not so much confident at all of the next 4 years.
just sayin.

Random Thought Two
I think a good plan would be for the UAW to find the money to help Ford, Chrysler and GM. They did it they fix it.
ohh wait..didn't they just give a shitload of money to the Obama campaign.

So I say UAW, really union tough, union strong? FIX IT.
Figure it out, make it right.

Last one:
Really, Prop 8. Over in good Ole California.
There are stories of riots, looting churches, and just utter dismay.
It was a vote. Put to the people.
They didn't want the constitution changed.
Its a state thing. I guess I don't understand.
But even Elton said Civil Unions were good enough.

Irony? It was all black voters who said no way. You wanted Obama. you got him. You wanted people to vote for your savior. They did. now what?
You don't like what they said...
Too bad, so sad.
Come to the East coast, Connecticut passed gay marriage into law, just today..or was it yesterday?

Just sayin.

One Less

I am driving less.
Down to one tank a week.
Gas today, $2.05..Tatal $45.00
I am going to Walmart and Target less.
We are eating out less.
Down to once a month, pizza delivered. Not Chinese, way too expensive.
Shopping less. TheKeeper, was not happy about that. Believe me.

We have cut back, in many areas. I can't help but think, many have.
Not really living different. Always did coupons. TheKeeper still goes to the movies, football games and the mall..Just spending less

What about you?

I got the blues

Sick kids
Stressed Husband
Rain.

Blues? I have them.

I want to leave my house. My house of puke.
I want to sit in Borders or Barnes and Nobel
I don't want to strap anyone in to get there.
I just want to walk out the door and get in the car.
When I get there I just want to read
just read
whatever I want.
Not hear any of my kids
or my husband

only me.

Question

I read blogs in the wee hours of the morning
with coffee and a calm quiet house.

I have found, that there are a few I don't read anymore.
Maybe it's because I don't like what they have to say anymore.
Or just don't care.

So, on the other hand, I have found more people like me now that I've gotten all Republican.

So, be all Obama about it, but I aint reading it anymore.

You?

Ok, the post below is..

I know Chrysler, GM and Ford will not "fail"
that is not what I am saying.

It needs to go in to bankruptcy, so it can be fixed.
The higher ups, need to stop the insanity.
The unions, need to wake up. and deal with the problems, in part they caused.

Look at the other car factories...umm like Toyota or Honda...Union run? Union operated?

Ugg and the teachers union. HORRIBLE. and Im a teacher.

I believe in Obama, that we need change.
But just not his change..

The republican party has 4 years,
To make a plan.

Money.

When we needed money, we went to gramps.
Dad? was worthless in many ways, and always broke.
Anyway.
He needed to always know the plan.
For one month
and month two.
Will you fix it? Is it temporary? What is the plan? What is your plan?
You needed the answers. You needed the right answers.

He always know, if he gave to one, he had 4 more right behind coming with their hands out for their cut.

So. I was thinking.

If AIG, gets more money? What is their plan? More parties?
Then if AIG gets money, you have to give Franny Mae and her brother Frannie Mac the same. What's their plan?

Now AIG, Frannie Mae and Mac..Who's next?
Chrysler and GM?
The Farmers?

Right, you give to one, you give to all.
And soon, but he got more will come in to play...

But really what is the plan. Will it fix a month? maybe 2, what then?
Really. It is a old horse. Let it die.. The pension and the unions will kill GM, Ford and Chrysler.

We are in for a world of hurt.
The government needs to say
Too bad, so Sad. Only the strong survive..

It sucks, really but change is hard.

So on one hand, I say we have planned for this. Pulled all our money out of the market last January. Well, left some. But made sure we had what we needed for TheKeepers college, and living on cash for at least 4 years (starting 1.20.09)
Paid off cars and out mortgage.

We will live simple.
and
Pray
for
"Just one term"

Just so you know..
Im hoping for a Jimmy Carter type thing, while people liked him and all..he sucked as a president

Why did you vote for Obama?

Pretty funny.
Democrats.. I mean.

Gotta Love Chuck

I Loves me some Chuck Norris..

Enjoy!

Cause and Effect

So
The accountant did the books yesterday.
The books of our small business.
The small business, we bought.
The small business that was opened back in the early 70's.
The small business, that has been open 5 sometines 6 days a week for 20 years. With overtime during the Fall and Spring. Overtime paid in cash, BTW. Double time.

In order not to fold, to close our doors.
In order to keep offering the Obama supporting employees, health insurance and sick time and holiday pay.

We will go to a four day work week, close on Fridays
That is 20% less pay.
For everyone. Even us.

Yay Obama. Go ahead, raise our taxes.
We will have no choice but to
lay off, your loyal voters.
Create more unemployment of your loyal voters..
Give you more loyal voters to insure.

Now, they, the loyal Obama supporters, think my husband is a bad guy.
He, like "the man" doesn't care about them.

Umm really. SO Sorry you feel that way.
Don't let the door hit you on the way out....

Just sayin.

Damn Wii

So
Another question..
I finally find a Wii.
Looking for the damn thing for a long damn time.
So
why?
Has it been available on Amazon all freakin day.


Arrrgh.
My life sometimes.

A can of worms.

So this is bothering me..
Obama's mother was born a white baby in Kentucky, right?
His dad, born a black baby in Kenya, yes?

So Obama is Mixed, correct?

We know he was raised by his mothers parents, also correct?
So he was raised by white people.

Still correct?

You all know by now, my daughter is mixed. Her father also left, at about 2 weeks, not 2 years, but really who's counting?

If my daughter was in the same position, in 20 years, and never mentioned this. Never talked about it. Went on to writ a book "The sin's of my Father" about a man who left us

I would be devastated.
Hurt.
Would he have been elected if he had done the same for his Kenyan Heritage? Forgot about it? Never mentioned it? Like an elephant in the room..

I don't like John McCain..Why?

And I am crazy?
Good thing, I'm glad I voted for the "right" guy.

Educate yourselves folks
Educate your children

Google is your friend. YouTube to prove they said it.

AM I a Conservative?

Well. first I am a registered Democrat.
I registered when I was 18, a I was a Democrat.
Really. I was a free thinker, believed in Clinton.

Fast forward

For my 21st birthday, I went to a bar.
For my 22nd birthday, I went to Social Services.

I went because, I was 22. I was poor. I had just left my husband, and TheKeeper was maybe 4 weeks old.
I asked for help. I really thought I could get a little help.
I didn't need Medicaid, because I had insurance. (second mistake)
I just needed help with food. and really just enough to get me back on track.
Well folks. There is no such help, or wasn't at the time. Or not for me. Because I was told, Quit your job (first mistake), sell your car and come back we can help you then...umm ok then. I think not.
Next, I went to the food store, it was Pathmark, and I had $20 to get me food and formula..but the girl ahead of me? She had foodstamps and steak. She was dripping in gold jewelry. Know by this time I had sold all my gold for rent, but I digress. She drove away in a BMW.
It was then I knew. At that moment. Help wasn't there for me.

So I worked harder. Spent less. Made a budget.
Believe me, I was poor. Dirt poor.
But I made it,

So, yes I was bitter. But stronger for it. I volunteered in food kitchens and homeless shelters.
I thought I could change things
I saw crack heads get help. I ladies have more babies, I saw people with boyfriends get help, because they had no one.
Still I thought I could change it.
Yes, from time to time you saw people who really needed help get help.
But alot of the time you saw ladies, with their hair and nails done.
Me, I still had $20 to feed my kid.

Fast Forward.
TheKeeper is 3
I met my Husband. He loves me and my daughter. He plays Santa, buys a tree and puts gifts under it.
Still I work hard, and wait until TheKeeper is 10 to marry him. Because I love him, not because he is a free ride.

But I did become a Conservative. A Republican. Because things need to change. Because we are to nice to the really poor.
The change needs to come in the social programs, with drug testing and stricter policies. Make it harder to get. Make it harder to stay on.
Not promise them things like free money and free health insurance. Not paying a mortgage they should have never taken, or credit cards they maxed out.
That is not what this country is about.
It about hard work and paying your own way. Feeding your own kids. Paying taxes.

I am scared for our future. I am scared for the kids in my daughters generation.

Now, believe me. I could care less about who you live with, but call it a union. Really marriage happens in a church, take it up with religion not the government. Stem cell research will help my loved ones.

Maybe I'll fininsh one day, but for now you get the point.

So, Im Confused.

I was reading about a few things.
The buy out of the banks, namely AIG.
Another stimulus package
a possible credit card buy out, or whatever they want to call it.
and this whole mortgage debacle.

Umm
so the government owns
the banks
it owns your debt
and your mortgage

ummm
doesn't that sound like communism? Really socialism is bad. Communism is way worse

Just sayin.

Wow, just wow.

I just wanted to add
Umm, really my SUV is on empty. Where I do get free gas..?

Yeah, didn't think so.

Choices.

In my world, we all make choices.
Choices that will sculpt your life.

My choice to rebel in High School. It was my choice to do poorly.
Still, It was my choice to go to college.
It was my choice to have my daughter at 21.

It was my choice to work hard, graduate from college.
It was my choice to raise my daughter alone.

It was my first husbands choice, not to go to college, to abuse us and drink.

It was my choice, to work to provide health insurance.
It was my choice, go to soccer practice and school plays.

It was my first husband choice, not too do these things.

It was my choice, with the help of an inheritance, to buy my first house.
It was my choice to be a mom, it was my job and my job alone to support her.
It was my choice not to buy new shoes and use the money for food.

It was my first husbands choice not to do these things, still

It wasn't my choice to go to the bar for my birthday, but I did. There I met my second husband.. Karma. Fate. Serendipity.

It was my choice to pay for braces, eyeglasses and soccer registration. Many years of soccer registration...school trips, school photos and lunches. Everything.
It was my choice to pay for Catholic School, when the public school didn't work for her

It was my choice to wait 6 years to get married. It was my choice to sell my house. It was his choice to sell his house and buy one together.

It was our choice not to take a mortgage we could not afford.
It is our choice not to use credit cards.

It is the choice of my husbands parents to give my daughter all the money she will need for college and beyond.
It was their choice to earn it, save it and now give it away.

It was the choice of my husband, to work for the same company for more than 20 years.
It was our choice to buy it, when we where given the opportunity.
It was our choice to, at a huge expense, offer health insurance for employees and their families.

Now, it was a choice, the the employees made, to vote and elect Barack Obama.
It wont be my husbands choice when his taxes go up
It will not be a choice, when he has to lay off more workers.

See, I guess what I am trying to say is we all have the choice to make a choice. A decision. It is not my fault some families don't make good choices. It isn't my obligation to fix them. Only my own.

I can live with my choices, the good ones and the bad ones.
I am accountable for what I did and have done.

Why is it OK, now not to be accountable for taking a mortgage you couldn't afford.
Why are our children not accountable? Why are our people entitled to free money?
Why are grown adults so excited $1000 extra...
Really, is losing your job and insurance worth a free $1000

Cause and effect. Every choice you make effects everything

I am a Republican. Not Racist. Period

First I voted for John McCain.
He was the Republican candidate.
I didn't vote for Barack Obama
He was the Democratic candidate.

Simple
Not Racist.

My first husband, was black.
My first daughter, has a black father.

I voted on what I believe in for this country.

I also had some concern.
1. The small business my husband owns, will have to lay off some hopeful Obama voters, because of all the new taxes on us "rich business owners"..They will be without the health insurance provided, at great cost, by the company...Oh, but never fear..Barack will give them health insurance.
2. My daughters inheritance, already taxed once. Will be taxed again. Because us "rich middle class" folk. Who have had parents leave their children's children money..well poor folk don't have any rich parents.
See, this money, from my husbands parents, gifted each year, will put her thru college. It will help her after college, with her masters.
They have already paid taxes on it. They will pay again when they give it too her..and if Barack has his way she will pay again.
(saving more for later..)

I voted for the Republican. Because he was Republican. Not because the Democrat was black.

It is not my duty to help the poor with my money. It is my duty to pay taxes. It is my duty to feed my family. Heat my home.

I was single. I was poor. I know how "it" is. I walked that mile in those shoes. But, I did it. I graduated college. I paid my bills. Had a job, a car and a house. I was really really poor.
Oh yes, all with no child support. Nothing, nada. zip. zero.
To date, I put braces on her teeth. Eyeglasses and contacts. Clothes. Food. Inhalers. Eye drops. School Clothes. Soccer cleats. Softball cleats. My husbands parents will pay for her college education.

Where is her father? Waiting for his money Obama promised him. From my pocket..again.
Gee Thanks Obama. Don't know how I even got this far with out you!

I am not racist.
Nor am I entitled to money I did not earn.

Will I vote for Obama ...

I am a Republican

Pink is way Hot

I think Pink is hot...
WOW.
Love this..
Love that my daughter gets her info from her..
Even if she dosen't like Sarah...

Um, really?

So yes, we all have different views. I get that. I know that I am just a Stay home soccer mom..but really... absurd? Really?
I mean, I know I really really think the same thing I guess, but on the other side..how did Obama get this far?
But one day, not so long ago, I was that "single mother" Obama speaks of. I was that poor woman, just trying to feed my baby..
Yes, by going to college at night and working 2 jobs, so I could feed my daughter.
Then I married a man, who believed in hard work.
I am a registered Democrat. **shutter**
I voted for Clinton.**shutter** **shutter**
Obama, made me a Rebublican. eerr maybe it was Al Gore. Maybe Barney Frank or even Clinton himself.
Oh, wait. I grew. I became an adult and oh yes, I paid taxes. Thinking that was it.

Matt, go google it, find your answers.

Thekeeper thought this was funny..

This is what was on CMT this morning, as we breakfast this AM
it is on of our favorite songs...
Listen:


Because this is the one on her Ipod:
Listen..


Little different? Yeah, I know I am not the "best" parent to let her listen to the Unedited version.
In her defence..I downloaded it first...

Enjoy!

So more about P!nk

She is a champion for young girls in this world
Young girls who need to know it's OK to be different..
It's OK to be independent & strong...
Make good choices
That boys suck and break your heart

But by far, So What really helped TheKeeper through a really hard few weeks.

So so what?

I’m still a rock star

I got my rock moves

And i don’t need you

And guess what

I’m having more fun

And now that we’re done

I’m gonna show you tonight

I’m alright,

I’m just fine

And you’re a tool

So so what?

I am a rock star

I got my rock moves

And i don’t want you tonight

She hit a rough patch with her besties.

She has it on her Ipod, and she would run and run and run.

We would play it REALLY loud in the car...

She cried, and was really lost.

I found out much too late, why she wasn't going to the swim club anymore. It broke my heart.

She is strong. She is determined.

My heart absolutely broke for her.

Thankfully she has come out on the other side, she is laughing and has found a place that makes her happy.

She has soccer, she has school & her family. She has friends, who love her
She has learned a hard lesion.
Girls are mean. Really. Really mean. Even your best friends.

So, this song is our anthem right now.
It's also her game day song.
It puts her in her place, where she is not fat (remember the swim club), but a rock star, amazing person, great friend, funny & and hands down the best damn goalie ever to walk the halls of (insert HS name here)

To be honest

I am not sure where I fit.

Feeling very lost these days.
Worried about the winter coming, yet really excited to have a excuse to be dull and gloomy.

looking for a home,

This song rocks

Max & Ruby

Well, first lets just wonder where are Mom & Dad?
But, we have Tivo'ed 3 episodes.
Max and Ruby miss the bus
Max And Ruby make a cake
Ruby writes a book
TheToddler, will only watch "cake Max & Ruby"
and she has also started talking like Max.

Um, I think we are done done done with Max and Ruby

Loving Sid the Science Kid, find him on PBS

Gas

up .10 a gallon today
I really said ok, I can deal with .10.
it's not $4.00, yet.

I can not deal. Really.
Home heating oil will bankrupt us this season!

SNL

Where was I?

We had just got back from Disney.
TheKeeper was in 1st grade, at the school where I was teaching.
I was thankful, I had her close.

The school? In a town, (here in NJ) that borders on another town, (also here in NJ)
that has a high Muslim population.
My room, had NYC views. We saw no planes, but we saw smoke.

I remember no cell phone service. I remember thinking of the kids, who's parents left that morning & will not be coming home. I remember the police coming. To protect the kids from any riots that might have happened..I also remember trying to find my brother. His shift ended at 7am, but he never left on time. I remember the look on TheKeepers face, she knew her uncle worked there. My BIL also, but that didn't come to me until later.

Our school didn't loose any parents that day, but we did have a family on the plane went down a 2 months later on to a block of houses in Queens.

We watched the news, I cried for the lost parents, brothers, sisters, husbands & wives.
Thekeeper had soccer practice that night, I remember the planes just stopped flying.

I lost a dear friend that day. Not my brother, but someones. He was a brother, a son, a husband and a father to be.

That's where I was..

~TheKeeper~

My baby girl, starts High School tomorrow.
My baby girl is strong and determined.

She also has her first High School soccer game today

VARSITY.

TheKeeper made Varsity.

I am in awe of my kid.

**Update**
TheKeeper played 1 half. (HS soccer is 2 40 minute halves)
The score?
3-1
Yes, they lost.
But
TheKeeper, my freshman..didn't let the goals in. The other (senior) keeper did.
Not a bad first showing, not bad...

Where have I been?

I am not sure where I am. I have lost my way.

Work with me folks, hold my hand and help me thru this...

For the father of BOTH my girls..

TheKeepers father. I thank you for being a father to both my girls. You stepped in and raised our girls. There are no words for the love we have for you!

Love,
Us

No words.

I couldn't have have said it any better...

Time Flyes

The soccer season ends tomorrow.

What about some Baseball?

Wow. Just wow

"I can be changed by what happens to me. I refuse to be reduced by it."


--Maya Angelou.

TheToddler went to the Beach!

Nuff said

"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together...there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than youseem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even ifwe're apart...I'll always be with you."
-Winnie the Pooh

A quick catch me up

My school is over, the last day was Friday.
Unemployed again, poor me..
I am very bothered by the state of our nation, the price of gas & oil, and other parents.


TheKeeper will graduate 8th grade the end of the month. Soccer is going well, the HS coach has already said she'll play JV, maybe Varsity. I told him I want her on the Freshmen team. She has to work for Varsity. Pull her up when you need her, but put her on the freshmen roster. Softball is almost over, and she has a "date" to the graduation dance.

We are trying to potty train TheToddler.

TheKeepersdad, well he is great as usual. Lazy but still a great father. I know I should get over his laziness. It bothers me, it does take a toll on our marriage. But my over all quality of life is too good to complain.

Funny Story

This morning when I was putting TheToddler in her seat she noticed TheKeepers softball mitt.
As usual I was not paying much attention, as TheToddler talks a mile a minute & if I did I would be crazy.
Well, even more carzy.
She is laughing and rambling ...and I guess she has learned I really don't pay attention, which is sad..I know this.
TheKeeeper gets in the car.
TheToddler and TheKeeper have this a conversation:
TheToddler: "Hehe, TheKeeper, What is you thinking?!"
TheKeeper: "Huh?"
Remember it's the crack ass of dawn & we had a long weekend..TheToddler is really the only one awake enough to speak..
TheToddler "You can't play softball with cany *candy*...
TheKeeper.."huh"
TheToddler.."you need the yellow ball..not cany...hehe what are's you thinking?!"
TheKeeper.."oh..the gum? in my mitt? ..funny toddler, "

So I guess it was funny to me, and to TheKeeper..and it also tells me I ask TheKeeper "What are you thinking" an awful lot..
In my defence, she is 14..kids that age don't think... Really.

Drive by post..again

Sorry that my live has come before my blog time.
I know this sucks, for everyone.

TheKeepers team is 5 -2. Great season. Keeper has only let 4 goals by..great for her!

TheToddler is having sleep issues. We are going to change her bed in to a toddler bed today, see if that works

School is done for me, so I am unemployed..again.

I am sure we are not the only family effected by the price of gas & home heating oil. We are going to have a hell of a time heating this humble abode at $4.59 pr gallon of Home heating oil. Last year it was $2.39..that was high.

Obama, Clinton or McCain are not gods and have little or no power to fix the country's horrible predicament

I am worried about..1) Heating the house next winter & 2) Christmas. We will be surely broke by then.

I have become a recluse, almost never drive anywhere, I try to get at least week to a tank of gas..the $75 to fill the tank really hurts.

Oh, yes I have a girl crush. Our girls play on the same team for both soccer & softball ..destiny.

Anyone else just plain scared about what next week, month or year brings?

Then I read this, and remember things go from very bad to amazingly good..and have hope.

Best Ebay Feedback..Ever

Thought I would share this...

Just thought I'd do a driveby post.

I'll be back soon!

I'm Back!

Great Adventure was great.
I had a great time, the other mom bitched..just as I thought she would.
TheToddler..she had a great day, loved the Wiggles!
TheKeeper and her gaggle? Had a blast!

Im broke, but it was worth it!

Today is TheToddler's Birthday, she is 2!
We hadn't planned to do much, but she when she woke up this morning..She asked "my Birthday today?"

So after softball (at the ass crack of dawn) we got her a cake and balloons. A cool bubble maker & a bike from Walmart.

She is on her "wing set" with TheKeepersdad.

My family? No call. Sad that they suck. It's OK, because TheToddler will never know. It really sucked for TheKeeper when they didn't call for her birthday.

Sunday=Soccer. Early home game, three great words!
Not sure what I'm going to do about them.

Mean People Suck.

We are taking 2 cars, because mean people suck.

Also wanted to add, or clarify, that I'd be ok if the girls made plans. If the girls made plans to go to the movies or the mall. Great, no problem.

I have a problem with not asking the last girl to come, because three girls are going. TheKeeper, Bff1 & Bff3. It was just Bff2 that was left out.

The other thing, the mom came up with a story, a story to tell Bff2, ..Really now? asking my kid to lie, or putting her in an uncomfortable spot, not cool.
It was only when I told her I was uncomfortable and was going to call Bff2's mom, did she sing a different tune.

It's done & over. All is right and just. The girls will all go, 2 cars and TheToddler.
I'll let you know how it goes.

Got a second?

I in in a quandary.
Great Adventure is becoming a real pain in the ass.

This mother, has said, she'd rather leave Bff2 home then take 2 cars.

Now, I as a mother would be so hurt by this. I would be hurt for my daughter.
My heart would ache. If I knew that it was my kid that wasn't asked, that the girls went with out my kid.
How does a grown woman become so selfish?

PS, she is already driving tomorrow. I would be the second car.

I am hurt, really because I know by her actions today, that she would do the same to my kid in a heartbeat.
Do I call my mother? I mean I haven't talked to her in months, to come and watch Sarah, so the kid can go?
Do I just tell her to fuck off, that she is acting like a bitch & I am going to drive ...
I know I am not going to be friends with this woman, that I could not be after knowing how mean she can be. Knowing what I know.
Now I ask again, is it me? Am I no longer capable of having friends?
Has this world produced such evil women that they would spite children?
AM I overly protective?
Can some one drop by with coffee and talk me thru this?
Really. I am at a loss.

WOW!

Oil Change: Done
Bank: Done
Stop n Shop: Done

And home by 9am
I even impress myself

Great Adventure.

We are going to Great Adventure, yhippie
I have to take TheToddler.
I am hoping it all turns out OK.

I had a great conversation with my one and only IRL friend last night. She is wise & good.

Bff2 is here, asleep somewhere with TheKeeper

The trees are green again, it is a great day. The kind of day when you really think, "today is the day!" I am going to do all things I say I will do, but alas, go to bed with everyone not done.

So Today is the day, by default. I did nothing yesterday. I will start slow. Bank, Stop n Shop & Oil change place... come home..let TheToddler nap, clean car, house & finish laundry. Soccer.

TheToddler will have a birthday on Saturday. I have to get her something to open. TheKeepers dad said to wrap one of the 9,000 things she already has..he had a good idea. She will never know...

Off to conquer the day. or seize, or change the oil before the engine seizes..whatever comes first..

I win.

I know it's me.
I have always been selfish.

We are going Friday.

So, I know that most people find blogs about family boring. The day to day life of someone else is not good reading..yes, I get that.
Then why do I read so many blogs about other moms just trying to get ahead? Just trying to feel better..like we are all shouting from roof tops..Listen to me!

So I read them, I know 1 or 2 people come back and read about us. I like to talk, but really have no one to talk too..

So I blog..and you read. OK?

TheKeeper got all she wanted form the mall. She is happy. Our money tree, is bare...again. I have said it before, we create our own monsters. I have created a monster. This is her drug of choice..
We will attempt 2 year old photos tomorrow. Today I clean. and an Oil change..for the Soccer wagon/softball caravan.

So I leave you today, wondering , just as I do..why do some parents still act like 14 year old girls? Why must adults be mean and catty? Why do they talk about other peoples kids? Why do they think everyone acts this way? It's heartbreaking. Heartbreaking when this 12, 13 0r 14 kid is out on some field in some town just like mine, and some adult will say things like "that kid sucks" or "new pitcher" or "shoot, the Keeper (not mine) sucks!" (Read:not my keeper, the other teams keeper, but a parent I know..and had it been my keeper, I would have gone Ghetto.)..The best? "Everybody move up, this kid can't hit"..now ladies and gentlemen..That was a coach. OUCH

Sad so Sad what our kids have to put up with. Makes you think, about all those kids who are on medication and suicidal. We had done this, we have created monsters.

Is it me?

Tomorrow Bff1's mom wants to go to Great Adventure.
Great I say, but we can go Friday.
Umm, well ok she said. Like she was about to get all bitchy.
and she did
She wants to go Wednesday, I want to go Friday.
I say I'll take 'em all Friday.
She wants to go.
I say you can take TheKeeper and go tomorrow, but I ca't go.
But she says, It wont be fun without you.
Really now? I think, you don't know me..I stay away from you..

I am going to stick to my guns, we will go Friday. I will take a bunch of girls & TheToddler and just go.

So I ask you. Why can't I just get along with people IRL? I mean, I know that Bff1's mom is an adult stuck in a 14 year old's body.

The reason she wants to go tomorrow?
Bff2 & Bff3 can't go, they can go Friday.

Yes, I tell you she is a 14 year old girl!

But I ask again, Why can't I get along with people IRL?
I can't stand most folks.
Some, because they are idiots.
Some, because they are enablers & I hate that.
But mostly it is because they open their mouth and shit spews out.

Back to Great Adventure, I am going on Friday with a gaggle of girls..whether she likes it or not

Family Fun

We had a great Family Day. We went to this huge town garage sale. We wondered around and picked thru all the crap. Really, it was crap. Like people actually washed out & had for sale old plastic containers..yes, like the ones macaroni salad come in!
TheKeeper was entertaining. TheToddler was in a Little People coma. Little People are like crack to TheToddler.
The KeepersDad, he found some fun things to bring home,
We spend $4.00. Well worth the donation to the Animal Shelter.

BFF1 is here, the giggling is heartwarming.

TheKeepersdad put the swing set together..Which is the only thing TheToddler wants to do.."My wingset..My yellow slide?" "Peeeeeas? Daddy. Peeeeeas?"
Hours today. Both of them put there, pure joy.

So, TheToddler can really talk now. It makes things much easier around here. She will let you know which cup she wants. "Green cup" Great. Easy. She will say.."Peeeeease" and "Thankum"
And of course, every thing in this house is hers. "mine" 9,000 times a day "Mine!"
"No, not yours Mine!"
Now, if you remember the other day..TheKeeper was having issues with "Nothing is mine anymore.."
Can you hear it?
Yes, the irrational teenager & the irrational toddler, fighting over what's "Mine!'
Yes, it's joy. pure joy..

And It's Spring Break. I am sure Bff1 really has moved in for the week.
I am sure my idea of Joy. Pure Joy. will be very different this time next week..

Have you seen my money tree?

TheKeeper thinks we have a money tree. Or Maybe I just have cash falling from my ass.
Either one, she just has the opinion that one's whole wardrobe should be replaced every season.
She needs more Bermuda shorts, because the 9,ooo pairs she has from last year, well she doesn't like them.

I told her, Well I don't like the hole in my jeans, that I have had for years.
She didn't understand what this had to do with her...

So I guess it's off to the mall. She has money, let her spend it. Maybe then she will like what she buys.

Other things:
Today is figure it out Friday. I guess I will stick to the Life Plan, many others have dropped it. It did good for me to have a schedule..it gave me focus.

Today, I will Figure Out the following:
What I will do to keep my sanity during Spring Break. We are all of next week. This should be fun..not really, but I want to think it will be.

What's yours in mine

Does your family know about your blog?

Your husband?

I ask this because, Really I haven't told anyone about this. I keep it like my own little secret. Like it's all I have left, nothing is really mine.

The other day, TheKeeper had a fit that TheToddler "touched her stuff". TheKeeper went on and on about how nothing she has is just hers anymore, that TheToddler touches everything...
yeah ya think?
Where is my brush? In TheKeepers room
Where is that mascara? Ummm in TheKeepers room? yup
Really I can go on...
I told her it's the circle of life..I have nothing, you have nothing! Viola...

But, really..I have this & you guys! Hee Hee..

Got Coaches?

So today I am here to say:
Thank your kids coaches.
Take a minute and say "Thanks!"
Easy. Simple.

TheKeeper has soccer practice 2 days a week. Most every week. All year. That is 4+ hours every week that her coaches donate to the team, yes donate, yes every week.

Then, TheKeeper has softball practice. That's 2 different coaches that donate time.

In the fall, TheKeeper had Field Hockey..Those coaches gave alot of time, even did a week of camp during the summer...a week!

Now, I know that's just my kid & she is drivin by some other power. I get that.
But what about your kid? Do they play any sport? Tee Ball? Soccer? Baseball?
I can say, even Cheer Leading has coaches..and Gymnastics, too. *shutter*

Even if you don't like them. Even if you don't agree on how he/she coaches.
Even if your mommy goggles help you think your kid is better than that other kid..
Thank the damn coach.
Even if it's for the free babysitting because you dropped and ran to the ShopRite.
Thank the Damn coach.

Was I so evil?

I mean, I was. I know I was.
I know I woke up one morning and was a bitch. Kept bitching for years. I know this.

Now it's my turn.
TheKeeper is a bitch. Day in. Day out.
I can not wait until her ass in on the bus at 7:35 am.
While she is at school, the house is quiet. The doors don't slam. The anger is lifted, TheToddler will nap.

She is what my mom wished one me. Mom said, "I hope one day, you have a daughter...
Mom wins, she is here.

This morning I asked her if she had all she needed?
Nicely, in a nice tone.
Did she have her cleats? Your gloves? You have Soccer today, after Talent Show practice..you will not be home..remember?
Yes, mom ..she barked back.
Do you have money? I asked
Huh? what? I have to use MY money? She bitched
No, I gave you $25 last week, just for this, you remember? I asked her..getting frustrated

Slam went the door. Slam went the car door.
Thank god that damn bus came, or she'd be dead.

PS. She spent the money. Forgot her lunch & I am sure somehow this will be my fault also

Ok So it has been awhile.

Well my baby turned 14. We took her to a Japanese Hibachi place. Good fun.
It was 1o girls & me.
I got really sick the next day. Was down and out for 3 days..Strep. It was bad.
TheKeeper got strep. TheToddler had double EI, and maybe Strep also, but who's keeping track? Then, you guessed it..TheKeepersDad..had step.
I fumigated the house & threw alot of shit out..felt great!
So that's where I've been.

Soccer & softball have started. Life is crazy again.

Soccer is off to a great start, awesome game today! 2-0. TheKeeper rocked today!

I'll be back ..everyday..I promise!

Easter

Both of my girls are spring babies.
My oldest came home right before Easter. She was born at the end of a snowy winter, there was snow still on the ground when she came home!
She will be 14 next week.
My youngest was born the end of April..
I met my husband in April & come to think of it, my first husband also.

So I think April is a good month for me. I have to hope, because I have had a rough Feburary & March.

TheKeepersdad is still sleeping. I am going out today with TheKeeper, since our Sunday date will be Easter dinner, I have changed it to Saturday.

I have to decide if I go back to my job at the summer camp by April 1.

I have alot to Figure out, good thing "Figure it out Friday" was yesterday. I can not think about things until next week.

Today is Suds it up Saturday, which is good for TheKeepersDad, because tomorrow we see his family..they are a true trainwreck!

Gald I have lots to fill youin on, and I am sorry work got in the way this week...
I'll be better this week!

When work gets in the way

I had to work this week.
My house is a wreck and the laundry is taking over the house!
Good thing TheKeepersDad is home today, so he can entertain TheToddler.

Taking TheKeeper to the mall & Target. Should cost a few pretty pennies.
Saturday is her birthday.

I'll be back later!

Figure It Out Friday

I have figured out the following:
How to spend way to much time online
How to get a cranky toddler to take a nap
How to shower, but not get dressed..yet
A biggie
How to pay for soccer camp, you know a week at soccer camp will cost us? $575 plus
But I found the funds, Thanks for buying my kids EUC clothes! Way to go EBay!
I still need to figure out:
How to do all the laundry
Dress TheToddler & myself
Get a life

any suggestions?

Now on to the News of the day.

Last night was the famous HS registration, when I met the Guidance councilor. Well he's an idiot. I feel bad for him, everyday in his office with no windows.
I feel better about myself, about the education that I worked my ass off for. That even though I am home with Banana crusted in my pajamas & I have not showered yet today, that somehow I knew the right questions to ask and somehow he and I both knew he was an idiot. I rock!
So
Today I feel great. Liberated. But still stuck in the computer. This must change! I must become productive!
I have laundry I have a messy house but somehow, tomorrow is always there..I can do it tomorrow, right?
Help me kick this addiction~

Step away from the baby.

This is what happens when TheToddler finds a green sharpie in TheKeepers room. I should have taken a picture of her also. But that would have been too much evidence that I really wasn't paying enough attention.

Scary Baby..right?

Then I remembered.

Well I read this blog last night and cried.
Tonight I will register my baby in High School.

She will be 14 in 16 days!

I am in High School all over again

This sucks
I feel like I am in High School, or even Junior High School.
Today is the day that you realized you thought you had friends, but you find out you don't.
The day when the kids you walk home with, left with out you..on purpose.
The day when everyone is talking about you.
The day when even the new kid has more friends.
It sucks
I know I will be a better mom for it. The Spring and Summer are coming and I can't spend my day on the damn computer.
I have to register TheKeeper for High School tonight, I have to decide some major life changes & now this shit. Way too much for me today. This has been a bad month!
I need a break, I need some love. I need an invite.
I need to be a mom, I need to wash and fold laundry.
So why do I feel like shit? Why do I even care?
Self Esteem? What's that? Really? Where do I get some?

Neighbors suck.

So
We live in the mountains. It's quiet here. No side walks, no streetlights and narrow streets.
Originally, it as a vacation spot. People only came for the summer.
Some of the houses are old log cabins with alot of German influences. Great in the fall, when the leaves change. Great in the summer because the kids can walk to the beaches. I love it here, my kids love it here.
I hate my neighbors.
The lady next door is crazy. She will get her very own post one day. Promise
The people across the street, they are why I am here today,..
They are loud. They have loud kids. Not the kind of noise of children playing or laughing..but screaming loud.
So, now remember: loud & narrow streets.
Picture our house: Pretty raised ranch. White, black shutters & red door. Not a huge house, just a pretty unassuming house. On a narrow road.
Remember now the Soccer Wagon in a Trailblazer EXT. Big truck.
So the guy across the street, has a son that lives with his mom. He comes on the weekends, he is 15. Loud. Very Loud.
He plays basketball. Fine, I love sports.
They get him a basketball hoop thingy. Great, I love to see kids play outside.
So why do they do they think that the best place for this thing is right behind my driveway?
What did they think? I know, they didn't.
So getting out of my drive way sucked this morning. Remember: Narrow streets & big truck. And then add Monday morning, with a teenager & a toddler, frost and we lost an hour.
I can not wait until the damn FEDEX truck knocks it down.

It's mail it out Monday. I got some EBay stuff to get out..

I'll Play

This is from another blog I read. I told about you yesterday.
She wants to play a game, so here goes..
My husband's name is TheKeepersDad...
He graduated from Stevens in Hoboken. He is a Mechanical Engineer. He is still friends with kids from grammer school. (wow)
He has had a job with the same company since High School. Dependable & reliable.
He has 2 brothers, one lives close to us, like a mile away. They have 2 kids. The other well, my friend Caffeine Court, he lives in your neck of the woods and just got divorced. No Kids
His mom has MS, his dad is mean and scary.
We both have lived and only lived in NJ.
He likes Football and beer. He lives for the Redskins.
He is tall, and bald (balding he would say) He is calm and quiet
and doesn't curse. Ever. (*Crazy, I know*)
He Is a good man.
That's my husband.

This is my new BFF.

SO
This is my new BFF, the problem?
She she no Idea. I think I stalk her, maybe.

But I will say this: I stole this from her. I loved it so much, I took it.
Like I was 6 again at Jessica Whatshername's house and took her mouse toy. I knew it was wrong..well I did it anyway.

"Heavenly Father, give me the self discipline and motivation to tackle the wrinkled (but clean) mountain of clothing threatening to overtake my laundry room. Watch over me and guide me down the path of righteousness, as I try to avoid facing the carnage that is my walk in closet. And one more thing Lord, please grant me the wisdom to walk away from the temptation of the forbidden fruit (aka Girl Scout Cookies) that beckon me from my pantry. Amen"

I hope she will forgive me.

Plans for today?

I have to go to the bank and pay for the Soccer Wagon, I forgot to do this online. Now I have to venture out..scary.

Then I must pick up TheKeeper, from the party.

Then The Soccer waggon, must go around an hour later and pick up all of these same girls and take them to soccer practice, yes party mom, If you ever read this..very poor planning.

Now, during said ride in the Soccer Waggon, you must know..so you have a picture in your head..The girls have a song. They scream this song as each gets in the car.

"Soccerrr Soccerrr Wagon!"

Now I know this does not seem all that bad.

It is a gaggle of 6 girls. These girls all talk very loud. They are all 14 or turning 14.

And the best thing ever today? More Rain. We are going to float off this mountain.

More Later. Promise

What's up with that?

So
This is what TheKeepersDad said to me:
"What's up with that?"
Either he has new friends, or is having a midlife crisis.
Me: HUH?
TheKeepersDad: What's up with the pictures on the wall?
Me WTF?
TheKeepersDad: Why are there no pictures of TheToddler? I mean she's 2 already, it's sad.
Me: No way, really? *Looking* *Looking again* Wow, that is sad, upon finding no pictures on the wall of TheTollder. Bad Way Bad..I know.
In my defence, she has her picture in frames on the mantle and the hutch thing. But Alas, he is right none on the wall. This is his baby. A big deal in his eyes.
So that's what I did this morning. I took all her portrait pictures, that we paid a fortune for, by the way, and finally put them in frames and put the frames on the wall.
TheKeepersDad will feel better. I just hope he doesn't add up the cost of said pictures on the wall. I had no excuse. I had the pictures. I had the frames. Pathetic. Second child syndrome.
I was also glad to finally have an excuse to replace the wedding pictures.
Time is flying by me today.
TheKeeper is going running with BFF 1.
TheToddler is asking for coffee. We had Iced Coffee yesterday and she's hooked..again.

Some good news in TheKeeper's life? She was voted captain of her soccer team. Big ups! Keeper, you go girl!

Email answers: Yes, I do call TheKeeper Keeper. Keep, has become her name. Her friends call her it also. On the back of her sweatshirts it says KEEPER. It is something that just stuck.
Don't ask me why, It is what it is.

An Update of sorts..

TheKeeper went shopping and learned a lesson.
You can not spend what you do not have.
Her debit card?
Overdrawn. She spent $19.xx more then she had.
I do not expect raising this teenager is going to be cheap.

Ohh wait until she gets home. Her new home, the one up under this one.

Houston..We have a problem.

So.
We all create our very own monsters. Our Monsters are our children with behaviors, we accept from our children..but probably would not allow others to do the same...we'd even look at them funny.
But if and when our children do these crazy things, it goes over looked or it even might be cute..
For example: TheToddler will open her mouth and show us her food if we ask.."Toddler are you eating?".."I eating..ahhh (as she opens her mouth).." So cute..any other kid..well, crazy and gross.
Well My monster today is TheTeanager.
Remember she went to the mall yesterday after school?
I gave her $20. TheKeepersDad gave her $20..(another reason communication between parents is KEY) Then she had Babysitting money and her debit card.
She took all her money. Every last cent. Spent every penny she had.
This is the monster I created. She is a shopper. She is a spender. She went and blew over $100!
Not bad you say..I say she is 13. Not even 14.
What does that do for the level of spending? At 16 is $100 day at the mall not enough?
Even in these days when I have cut back & don't use credit cards..I am sure it is too late!
Now, I can call in the Nature vs Nurture argument and say she got it form her other dad, the "real" one. He is not the best at saving money. That it's in her paternal genetics, But alas..that will only make me feel better.

OK
So back to my NNLP:RD.
I have done some, but not much. Some have added drinking to each day. All I can do is Diet Pepsi. Thats how I roll.
My EBay auctions are doing well, have 28 as of yesterday! That will make up for TheOthers vacation.
I told TheKeeper she needs to find me stuff to sell when she gets home, she needs to pay back TheKeepersDad.
Its Thursday, I'm gonna throw out some Trash!

Be Back Later..

I Missed a day.

I missed a day , yesterday. Don't know what happened to all my time, but I am sure it was sucked in the same black hole as many other things around here.


Hilary kicked ass last night. Good for her. This is whole democratic election is going to get ugly soon.
Tough choice, them higher powers have..either they get accused of Sexism or Racism. Either way it sucks.
I am sad today. Glad that a strong woman is showing the our girls, anything is possible. That women should kick ass & fight. Hilary is showing our girls a whole lot. I still think she sucks. She Hilary. She the senator. She, Hilary.. Bill's wife.
I voted for Bill. He is the reason I registered. Don't get me wrong.
Then I grew up.
Then I changed, as we all do.
My guy pulled out of the race last night. He never had a real chance, but I am glad he stuck around But Still it makes me sad.
Anywho.
TheKeeper is going to the mall after school. My house is all mine until theKepersDad comes home at 5. WOW.

I will be back later. I am having a real hard time staying on task here.
Did anyone really miss me yesterday? Sadly, I expect not.
K?THXbi

Ok Ok

So I wonder why I'll get email, but only a few comments?

Answers:
*Why FSU? Because my Bother works there. If we didn't follow FSU sports, we'd all be disowned.
*Why the Redskins? TheKeepersDad was born in Virgina. I had to agree to 3 things before we got married.
1. We would have a "Redskins House" That is it. No other NFL teams..ever
2. I'd take his name
3. I'd stay home ft, or only work less then 20 hours pr wk outside of the house. During school, summer is different
*Why is TheKeeper is goalie? By default. 3 Years ago she was a stopper (a defender) the goalie was hurt during a game..next in line is the stopper. She loves it. She'll never leave her box.
Then this one I loved, from the same lady who didn't like that I got Grounded..
*Why do I Make (yes, make) my daughter play so many sports. ..Um well I don't even make her clean her room. She lives for soccer. Field hockey & Softball are just social. She is a teenager, they are social creatures. Since when is fresh mountain air a bad thing? She is an athlete, she trains hard for soccer. For her, the other sports are relaxing and keep her in shape. Anyway, all her friends play softball. It's the age, you know If Tiffany has it, well you better believe Britney Needs it...'Nuff said?

Keep 'um coming.
~TheKeepersMom~

My NNLP:RD

I forgot about this.
I have been busy with my NNLP:RD,
I just forgot to tell you all about it
Ok
Monday is: Mail it out, Market Myself & Move Mountains Monday.
I will print labels, pack & ship. The boxes will be left at the door, as always. Matt, the letter carrier, who drives a mail truck, because..well this is the mountains, letter carriers don't carry..they drive. Any who. Matt will take them. I will list on eBay. I will clean up after my family from the weekend.

Tuesday is: Tidy up Tuesday. This week will include a huge spring cleaning. This will last all day. It will end in Panera with TheKeeper. Next week I will just do laundry.

Wednesday is: Whatever I can do Wednesday. Whatever I can do to try and get my life back, get some piece! Make a plan! I need a new goal and I need to find a better way. This will also end in Panera with TheKeeper, before she goes to soccer practice.

Thursday is: Trash Terminating Thursday. I plan to throw away alot of shit. Including old shit, new shit and anything in between. This be mind freeing..I have baggage. Next week I will revise this.

Friday is: Figure it out Friday. This I will use to Figure out how to pay bills, How to pay for Soccer Camp, just in general. Find a way.

Saturday is : Suds it up Saturday, only applies to TheKeepersdad, I don't drink. I'll have a plan for this day. Soon it will be Saturday is for Softball. Softball starts soon...very soon.

Sunday, will soon be Soccer Sunday. The season starts in 4 weeks,

So remember, I have knocked it up a notch for this week. Next week will go back to NLP:RD.

Things to be added: TheKeepers practice schedule, because chauffeur is part of my life's work. TheKeppers Game schedule, and don't forget I work.

ShopTherapy. It works!

I ordered these gloves for TheKeeper: They must have special powers because they cost a huge chunk of change.This is the new Keeper Jersey, she needed..Under Armor. I guess it helps her mojo. It must also have superpowers.

For TheToddler..How cute? I mean one of my girls needs to have purple sparkly things on her feet, right? So, I'll be back soon, with all the damage that I did. It was fun!
Shoptherapy, try it..

My 12th Man.

The Redkins, are the Pro Football team that rules this house.
Go Skins.!
The 'Skins have Sean Taylor, he is their 12th man.
You may also have heard this saying in the Seattle area.

My 12th man is my father. He is long passed.
I will say, a less then stellar man when he was here.
But I do know he is here with us. I know he is a changed man in his new digs. I am sure he has all his parts and his health back.

I say this because I have been having this dream. Every night. It wakes me up at 1:05 am and I am then awake all night.
In the dream, my father is walking & can see again. He is sweet and kind, he tells me it will all be OK, that he is watching. That he is our 12th man. That he is watching TheKeeper & helping her find her way. He told me that he was there "that day". That day she made "that save". I do know exactly which day "that" is. He said he calmed her & he told her which way to go. He talked about his mom, and how she is honored that TheToddler has her name. That I shouldn't worry. That in time he will also help TheToddler find her way. That he is so proud and he is sorry.
See, now "help her find her way" is something I asked him to do, after he left. At his wake.
So, this is why I can't sleep. I am shaken. Since last Wednesday night. Every night, the same dream but each night he tells me a different story.

Weird I know.

Really, Now?

So, if you didn't read this post, what I about to say means nothing.
First, I am glad someone is reading.
Second, Are you shitting me? Really?
Third, thanks for the Email.
I will explain.
I got an email last night, opened this morning at the ass crack of dawn.
It basically ripped me a new one about how I lied when I said how independent I was and blah blah ..then What kind of woman am I to "let" my husband *ground me*.
Uhh, I was joking. Duh. Really. Come on.
Thekeepersdad, is a kind and good man. He is also a push over. He and I agreed to be grounded, and spend time together, as a family. TheKeeper even ventured out. Stayed a bit and left. He is worried, I had a really bad week. We had a really bad week.
Anyway. I was not *really* grounded.
I am still laughing at that one..

An Open Apology to our Neighbors

Dear Neighbors.
(only the one's we like. Not the horrible woman next door)
We are sorry that is is March 2. We are sorry our Christmas lights are just coming down today.
In our defence, we didn't turn them on anymore, but we know we are just lazy and have no excuse. Really we suck as neighbors. We don't even talk to any of you. We are horrible.
Thanks for understanding.
TheKeepers Family

*I am defying my grounding again, I am sure you noticed.*

Pictures later, I promise.=0)

With Excedrin and Diet Pepsi.

TheKeeper is locked in her room. She did this, not me.
TheToddler is eating fruit.
TheKeepersDad in getting food to feed his loving family
Me?
I am stronger today! I am excited! I have 17 listings on EBay.
I have done countless loads of laundry.
I snuggled with both girls. TheToddler..love loved it. TheKeeper? She told me 1. I needed my eyebrows waxed and 2. she told me to leave. I know she loves me!

So that's proof. With Excedrin and Diet Pepsi all is possible.
Now, remember Excedrin has extra caffeine. It works great on a headache. Knocks a toothache right out. I take 2 every morning, just to deal.
They also make Excedrin PM, just a thought

I am going to show to all pictures of my ShopTherapy session. It did go well. I knocked out Easter on Disney, I got TheKeeper new gloves..no love, not sweet or even pretty dainty gloves. New Keeper gloves, that are actually UGLY, but hey, I have said it before..it is hard to keep TheKeeper happy.. Even the KeepersDad got something!

I will show this all later, I so promise.
I have been grounded from my computer today..see how well I listen?
But I will be back later, when he falls asleep in his chair. Because he always does.

Oh yes, It IS Stupid Husband Sunday. I will be sure to fill you in on that!

By the way

Today will be better.
TheToddler, is pink. From head to toe. Pink. Highlighter I think, from TheTeenagers room.
TheKeepersDad went to bring "TheOthers" and their parents to the Airport..Yhippie!
TheKeeper? I have not seen her since she got on the bus yesterday morning. She spent the time with BFF1 and her family. They are cooler.
Me? I took a shower, and getting a plan for Suds it up Saturday.

In my NLP:RD, Friday's will be Figure it Out Friday.
So yesterday, I figured out the following:
I figured out a way to pay all the bills, on time. The tax return helped, but I Figured It Out.
I figured out how to spend a lot of time on the Internet.
I figured out that I am really having a panic attack, so I need to "chilax" & address the situation
I figured out, in the past, not just yesterday, but yesterday I had to reaffirm this knowledge.

1. It always works out. Everything always does. Better or worse.

2. If you can't fix it, change it or buy a new one

3. It's been worse.

4. It could be worse

5. I am stronger than this. I am better than this. I can beat this.

6. With Excedrin and Diet Pepsi... all will be fine. It has to be.

Baby Steps & A little love? Show the love...

TheToddler Sings

TheToddler and her cute self, sings
She sings "This is Daniel Cook"
She Sings "The Backyardigans"
She loves loves, Top 40. Including anything by Fergie. Especially "Big Girls don't Cry".
Her other Favorite is right now is Bubbly.
She sits in her car seat, and bounces. Up and down, because she IS strapped in tight. All all you hear in TheToddler singing then "nose...toes" Its a good rhyming song.
She can sing Bubbly the best, because she can say most of the words..
It has always been adorable. She has done it since she could make sounds.
I look in the rearview mirror & there she sits, behind me, with her "onkey" book and her cute hat from the gap, which she had to have. (That link is not the hat, but to the clearance..can you say shoptherapy? I sure can)

So I tell you this, because it(the singing then the shopping) makes me smile. It warms my heart.
With no sleep these days and anxiety kicking my ass.
I need TheToddler to never stop singing. Even if it's at 5am (like this morning) because, Hell, I am up anyway.
And because I know you care, especially if you are someplace really warm,
Drum roll please...
It's snowing a *FUCKING* gain. I am going to build an Igloo and hide..

He cared, I however didn't even notice

So I was wondering.
TheKeepersDad, said:
"So what, you aren't married today?"
I was like HUH?
You took your ring off?
I was again, like HUH?
Your wedding ring, it's not on..
I was like..oh? Yeah, I guess not.
Why was it a big deal. all I did was go to the bus stop.. Thinking to my self,
Self Did you even shower?
Believe me. Nobody cared. Nobody but him

Dinner will help

We just ordered Chinese. Lots of it. I mean lots. *good thing*
It is starting to snow..a*fucking*gain. *awful, bad horrible thing*

Ghost Whisper had better be on. Numbers too. The writers strike made this gloomy winter Gloomier..More Gloomy? The Gloomiest ever?

But "TheOthers" are gone for a week. *good thing, real good thing*

Maybe tomorrow will be better. I hope. I pray.
This gloom is really starting to get annoying..even for me.

Give me some pointers, help me out of this funk. Maybe some herbal miracle pill.
Maybe I should just give up Diet Pepsi & Excedrin ...Yeah, never.

Don't let this fool you

I am still having a terrible horrible no good very bad day.
BTW, Alexander's terrible horrible no good very bad day is a good book for the kiddos
I am just plain avoiding. Sipping my coffee, looking out the window at the lake & watching the birds in the trees.
The children are watching Nemo.
Thinking that maybe I should look into medication.

Procrastination

~Maryland Trip~

Did I mention we brought TheTeenagers?

This Is TheKeeper, with BFF1 & BFF2

Here is TheToddler & TheKeepersDad, just so you could have a visual.

This was on our Very Expensive Trip to Maryland. We went to the Aquarium & TheTeenagers went to the ESPN Zone.

Starbucks & Dunkin Donuts

Somepeople asked WTF why Dunkin? Why not Starbucks?
Well, remember folks. I live in the backwoods, the country. The Mountains!
There is no Starbucks. None, Nada Zip. We JUST got a Dunkin last year.
Before that, the closest one was 12 miles away.
Yes 12.
Oh, also this morning at TheKeepers bus stop...10 degrees. Yes 10.
It's cold. Really cold

You know it's bad when

I am already having a bad day.
I feel a panic attack coming on.
It was another early morning, with all the shit going on, I couldn't sleep.

Maybe I need more coffee. Maybe I need a break.
Off today & Daniel comes.

TheKeepersDad stressed me out. Why must he always talk about money?
TheToddler flipped out this morning wanting her "Santa Boops". OK, Translation is Santa Boots..but still, WTF are Santa Boots? Do we even have any?
With TheKeeper PMSing & no sleep..There is no hope for my day.

I'll come back later, when I'm safely off the edge.

Have a picture to show you..

This is TheKeeper. We went to Maryland Presidents Day Weekend. Remember our very expensive trip to Maryland? Well, while there we saw FSU play the Maryland Terps. FSU lost. =0) We travel alot to see FSU play. Few months ago we went to Boston College to see Football in the rain, they lost then, also. But we always get to see Brother#2, that's always a plus. We also saw some FSU Women's Soccer,last fall and well, they lost then also, but that was the finials..so they got pretty far. TheKeeper was excited to see Soccer and her uncle.

Where should we see FSU play next?

Go Noles..

Read this in a Florida paper online..
"Noles Win 3rd Straight ACC Game"
and it went on to say,
"Jason Rich scored 21 points Wednesday night while the Seminoles nearly blew an early 19-point lead before holding off the Wolfpack 72-62, giving Florida State its third straight league victory."
But What I found interesting,
"With wins against Clemson, Boston College and N.C. State..."

Now, I don't usually point things out like that. Because I know that karma is a bitch and will cause us to get our asses humiliated.

I just thought is was interesting, considering.

Just a word before I go..to bed, that is..

Have I told you the teenager will be in High School next year?
I mean High School!
Do you remember what you were like in High School?
Because I remember what I was like in High School, and I am scared for Me & The KeepersDad.

Well, the only hopes I have are these:
She is an athlete, it keeps her busy. That it will continue to keep her busy.
And
By this time, I had already "gone wild"..maybe she will not "go wild"

This keeps me up at night, or at the very least, the thought that we have to meet with her guidance counselor next week and act like real live grown up parents of a kid going to High school.

Yes, I have done the math TheTeenager will be a senior when TheToddler goes to Kindergarten. The thought alone, makes me cry.
I remember TheTeenager's first day in Kindergarten..all dressed in her fresh & clean Catholic School Uniform. I remember her pig tails & curls & purple backpack.
I remember my dad, trying so hard to be a good Pop-pop.
Now, she will be in High School.
My dad is long passed.
and I must get dressed and act like an adult. I must put on my big girl panties, and face the world.
Remember ladies & gentlemen, I am a teacher. (or was) I did go to college. I used to work in a real school.
I guess it's just the thought of High School. I was horrible & rebellious. I cut class, I drank and I smoked.
I guess I hope what we all hope, That our kids turn out better then us.

The Nanny?

No, not Super Nanny or Nanny 911.
I get the "Live in Nanny" She or he, in which case he's a "Manny"Lives in your house & you usually get her form Switzerland or Germany. I get the Nanny that stays during the week, then goes home.
Anyhow.
I also get having a or getting a "Sitter".
I watch 2 kids, after school, some days until 5:30. That is you ain't home by 5:30, your children will be unsupervised..not really. But close.
I am their "sitter" I am not their "Nanny" "Au Pair" to be real fancy.

So my point?
Today at the bus stop, the neighbor said "her Nanny" Blah Blah Blah..whatever else she said was not important.
She has a "Sitter". Not a "Nanny" It is annoying. She has a HS chick that comes over a couples hours at a time a few days a month.
Is it regional, calling a Sitter a Nanny? Does that just happen here?
Does that just bug me?
Just a random thought.

A sister's love...

I forgot to tell everyone..
TheKeeper went to Friendly's for dinner with BFF1 & BFF2. BFF1's mom drove.
They had to stop by Modells.
On so many levels, this made me happy & proud.
No, silly not that she went to Modells. jeez
She brought TheToddler her first pair of soccer cleats. TheToddler has cleats. So CUTE!
They are a size 10, which is tiny to TheKeeper, well because Keeper's cleats? size 10.5 Men's. TheKeeper has big feet...At this point TheToddler only wears a 6.5, but we have time.
She got them on clearance, she said, "Mom they were only $5 bucks!"
Make Momma proud! Great Bargain find!
But most off all,that she thought of her sister.
Did TheToddler need the cleats? No. No more then she needed Sambas I bought her last week, you know Soccer season is coming..every kid needs new Sambas for soccer season..
But How cute..how incredibly sweet..that my obnoxious teenager thought of her sister.
Now I will defiantly get her those new slides. Every good dead....

Structure Is a Beautiful Thing

I don't need a label maker. I need a notebook.
In my head today on the way to work, I had so many things to mention. Same on the way home from work..which is about 45 minutes each way.
I listened to Sports Radio, no surprise. I used my phone.
As TheToddler slept, and I drove ..I made a plan.
As The Toddler eats, she is much happier. Structure Is a beautiful thing.

I went thru the Dunkin Drive thru, my favorite place. I cheated. I always take TheTeenager after school. Because coffee is good & everyone knows this..even teenagers.
I'll go back, today is a 2 coffee day.
I have big plans for the next week, because last night I realized..Soccer season starts soon. Then Softball Season will start, so the "free time" I have now? Is so gone. The Trailblazer will again become "The Soccer Wagon"
I am so not the typical "soccer mom" or the "softball mom". I am just TheKeepersMom.
That means, I must get her where she needs to be. I don't scream at coaches or other people's kids.
I digress
So I know now. I have found my motivation. I see the light.
I have a billion thing to list on eBay. I have a billion loads of laundry.
I will make progress.
I gain control

Trash Terminating Thursday

Yes I am up for it. I will terminate our trash. I have already sent KeepersDad out the door with 2 bags of Garbage.
I am on a roll.
Of course Work & TheToddler might make it difficult to get much done!

And if any one was wondering, it's 11 days now. Since my money sucking family has reached out an touched us..shameful. I say. Shameful.

More later, I must be showered and dressed in an hour, pack up TheToddler for the babysitter & make TheTeenagers lunch.

K?THNXBI

I know you are wondering.

What did TheToddler have for lunch?
Well because she had lunch this morning for breakfast.
She is having breakfast this afternoon for lunch. Eggs sausage & cheese.

Oh, yes it has been decided.
No more days off for me, I do nothing with my time.
TheToddler is not adjusting to the lack of structure..and quite frankly, neither am I

Tomorrow, I will go to work. Promise.

Any ISO Tuesday Pro's Out There?

I am in need of advice for my ISO Tuesday.
She needs shoes, I have shoes.

Also I have a question
Anyone? Anyone?

Email me. Linky in profile.

Peace Love and sleeping children

Thinking Ahead to Next week

So I do not have TheOthers at all next week. Yhippie.
So I will start my New NLP with Suds it up Saturday, this will be good. TheKeepersDad, will be gone in the AM, taking TheOthers & their parents to the Airport..TheTeenager doesn't have soccer..I have NO excuse.But, Knowing me, I can come up with one..real quick.
What is Sunday? In my house, it's Stupid husband Sunday. I'm sure I'll fill you in, now to be really whitty, I'll actually post that Sunday.
I am excited.

I will still continue with the Existing NLP for this week, but next week and only next week, My NLP will be bumped up a notch. Hence MY NewNLP ..This will also include a hair cut & eyebrow waxing.
Thursday is Trash Terminating Thursday. I can live with this, no change needed.
It will work well.
Finally Friday. or Figure it out Friday. I am not sure yet.

TheToddler is Napping..off to complete a task and to stay on target.

Hey Ashley? When do I need my label maker. I have it, all ready. Right here..under this crap...
Carry on

Epiphany!

epiphany. First it is going to be my word of the day.
Then, I had an epiphany. I watched Jon & Kate plus 8 the other day.
Did you see it?
They have a volunteer come on Thursdays to fold the laundry & ANOTHER Volunteer comes on Friday to put it away.
That is a great idea.
Now I get I don't have 8 small children. But I have laundry.
Maybe If I had friends IRL, I could have them come and help me? Maybe I could make coffee..maybe, just maybe.
Anyone up for that?
Maybe I am starving for human interaction.

Whatever I Can do Wednesday.

That's what I'm doing today. All in one day here.
EBay (Carried over from Marketing Monday)
Laundry (Carried over from Tidy up Tuesday)
Clean out Dh's Closet (yeah, right Carried over from when hell freezes over)
(^this was his suggestion)

My Focus: Laundry. That's what I can do.

Now, what I want to do..Go get Dunkin and then hit Target. Maybe the mall?
Pipe Dreams.

TheToddler is eating Chips & Chocolate milk..and peanut butter. Maybe I should have gone to work. That would not fly with TheBabysitter.
But she is cute, and on a gloomy cold day here in NJ, when my heart is sad, she has made me smile. She is singing her ABC's and a song about a school bus. Telling me TheOthers are in school today...in her limited English of course.

Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do.

So I don't watch old reruns of I love Lucy, but I had to go there.
and Here: Crazy for Lucy, or crazy for ordinary people?

I am going crazy. unmediated, unorganized and overwhelmed. I'm the circus act the balances all the plates and juggles all at the same time. They never drop anything. Forgive this one: But I drop the ball everyday.
My story, for all that care is this: (short version) I was a horrible teenager. I was horrible to my parents. My dad kicked me out at 17, after I barely graduated HS. He didn't like my BF. (Dad=Archie Bunker) I survived. I went to college. I was fiercely independent and stubborn. I got Pregnant with TheTeenager. Not my life plan, But I went with it..(BTW, she saved my life.)Got married & Had TheTeenager. 6wks later, I left. Packed up my Hyundai and hit the road. Remember, Fiercely independent. I struggled. I worked My ass off, I graduated, and raised TheTeenager. Never took a dime of help. Yay me.
So here I am today. Struggling with my decision to stay home. Blessed with the opportunity, but still, overwhelmed. Dh is old school, he makes enough. He is the man, having his wife work is insulting. But I knew this. Struggling with the mixed message I send to my girls. Strong and independent. Do I even believe this? Have I lost that about me? Really where have I gone?
So I have a PT "job". I sell shit on Ebay. I watch "theOthers". So I will always have money. I will never be my mother. (think Edith Bunker) My girls will never see what I saw.
So. Here I am today. caught between my beliefs and what is best for both of my girls. Caught in two worlds with a toddler and a teenager, both learning about the word

So Crazy for me or crazy for ordinary people? I don't know yet.
stick around, maybe we can all work out life's problems. Then together we can save the world. Or save me. Either one, I'll be happy.
Like Ashley, I am all about me. (<---Great reading, BTW) Again I am sorry Holly, =) really. I meant to send peace and love. (<---Also Great Reading)

Why so Early?

So TheKeepersFamily failed my test.
They proved to me, that If I don't do it..nobody does.
It was a little test, but I left some of TheTodller's toys on the Bathroom floor.
Sadly, they just stepped over them.
Even more sad..I picked them up.

Yes, TheToddler is asking for chips. I think I started something. Good or bad, it's not going away.

I'm not going to work today. I will be back with my NLP plan for this day I have named Whatever I can do Wednesday
KTHXBI!

TheTeenager had fun..That is what counts..Right?

TheTeenager was excited, however stupid I thought softball tryouts were going to be. It made TheTeenager happy. Now, If you have a teenager, you know. Not much makes a teenager happy. Everything sucks. Everything.
TheToddler is sleeping
TheKeepersDad is down in his dungeon
TheTeenager, well you know she is in her room watching BB and texting BFF#1 & BFF#2 things like: IDK & kthxbi.. it's a new language. I had to educate myself.
Just in case you were wondering, Yes I read the text's, all the AOL IM's and her mysapce. It's my job..I take it seriously.
So here I sit, shh it's quiet.
What is tomorrow? Well whatever the BigGirls are doing, I think my NLP for Wednesday is...Whatever I Can do Wednesday. It'll work this week. I do however reserve the right to change it next week.
Monday was a bust. Tuesday started of rocky & ended with great progress. I can only hope for Wednesday.
Come back tomorrow..Check in on me

Finished, for now

Well so the story of my day
3 Loads of laundry.
5 Auctions Listed.
1 room cleaned. Including sheets & dusting. No Vacuum it freaks TheToddler out.

I will shower and get TheTeenager.
I have TheOthers tonight until 5:30
Then, I guess I have to take TheTeenager to the pointless softball tryouts.

I feel OK about my progress today. I will do better tomorrow, I promise.